the end is near

To tell you the truth, I am doing this mostly for my own sake. I won’t remember many of the details after a couple of years have passed and this is a great way to record at least some of them. For instance, I can hardly breathe right now. Or all day for that matter. Sometimes it is the sheer height of the rollercoaster. Other times it is the plummeting depths that keep you from breathing. There never seems to be a middle ground. There is nothing concrete about this situation. I have no idea what we are walking into. My imagination has had a ball today coming up with twenty THOUSAND different scenarios. Hell, its even been fun to some extent. One scenario involved Asia, her mom and all her siblings (none of which I have heard anything about except they live together) meet us for dinner. Considering how little communication there has been, that would be a total nightmare in my opinion. I’m sure we would be fine, handle it etc… but it sure would be unexpected. However, if her Mom were to show up for dinner, I think that would be more than ok. We do sort of have dinner plans for Thursday evening with Asia which is exciting. And I think it would be nice for Asia if she had someone there for moral support. It can’t be easy meeting us the day before she is going to give birth. And I mean that. I know that I’ve been going on in my own head about how hard this end of it is, being unsure of what is going on, juggling logistics, etc… but the truth is we have to stand up and be the adults in this situation. Asia is young, and I’m sure her emotions are beyond any kind of control at the moment. She doesn’t need us harping on her about what we need. She needs someone to care. Someone who will give her some answers about what the future holds, some straight answers (via gay mouths). Lets just hope she isn’t completely blown away by our progressive Californian attitudes, thoughts and way of being. Lord knows my Mother went screaming in the other direction (back to Texas, and now living in Louisiana of all places). The cultural differences are nothing to scoff at… Besides gumbo and crawfish, I’m not sure how much I like the idea of being in Louisiana for three weeks. Two white males running around holding hands and raising children. Its all too much. Just asking for trouble. Obviously, there will be do holding of hands in public, or anything of the kind. It actually is too dangerous. And while five years ago, I might have done it in spite of what people might do or say, I can’t afford to be so cavalier now with Calliope in the midst. Oh how I ramble.
Tomorrow, we are getting up at 3:30 am and will arrive in Louisiana around 5pm. Travel days are not awful, but they aren’t exactly fun either. In any case, the baby we find ourselves stalking is to be born on Friday. One way or the other, we should know something by Monday, providing everyone is healthy and discharged on schedule. And yes, the end is near. Or is it the beginning 🙂

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